For around 25 years I lied to Mrs Bullwinkle that I had been on a flight with Leo Sayer on the one and only time I traveled first class on a plane to Papua New Guinea when I was seventeen years old.
I cant remember what the original gag was supposed to be that I never managed to punchline, but for some reason, I just kept it up for years and years.
Then one day when she was really, really sad for very good reasons, I told her the awesome truth.
She stopped being sad for a few minutes.
Sometimes it’s worth lying to your partner for twenty five years just for a few minutes of giggles.
It still cracks her up whenever she remembers it.
"Of all the people to lie about being on a plane with!"
It turns out twenty five years is a long time to set up a punchline.
On a different and oppositely styled gag, I realised I always wore white business shirts, and a blue thing over the top of it.
The shirts changed, but the blue... thing was always the same.
But one day I decided to cut the cuffs and the collar off a shirt, and wear them under the same blue thing I always wore.
So, no shirt, just the blue top, and cuffs and a collar from a white business shirt poking out where they normally should.
This was when I was around sixteen years old or so, and I was friends with a guy whose parents owned a motel in Kentown in Adelaide. It was pretty cool because we got to eat food from the restaurant at will, use the pool and sauna, and have unlimited access to video games and vending machines.
So one day I rock up un-announced after school, and find my friend and his girlfriend sitting on the stairs in the middle of a depressing argument that looked like it might spell the end of their relationship.
Now, keep in mind, this is the first time I had ever worn my cut down stunt shirt, but it was perhaps the 500th time my friend had seen me in a white shirt, and my blue thing.
I realised I needed to get back on the bus to go home and leave them to it, but for a few seconds before I went, I asked my friend to give me 10:1 odds on a $1 bet that I could take off my shirt in less than 5 seconds without removing my blue thing.
Three buttons, and it was done.
To this day, I doubt he could be convinced that I wore normal shirts for all the years he knew me.
I never did collect my $10, but I also don't think I saved the relationship with my cupid stunt.
120ThingsIn20Years thinks lies are always funny and stupid,but are sometimes worth giving a go if you're willing to put in the years to develop them to their full potential, or at least pretend that you have being doing so. You don't need to lie to seem like you are, but when you do, it's worth doing for the right reason.
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