Making smoked foods - Mock bacon

I'm not really sure how to make bacon, but I can now smoke stuff, and bacon is smoked pork, so I should be able to get it half right at least.

Hope I don't die!

Actually I've read a lot of safety info, and it seems I can cold smoke stuff at dangerous, bacteria breeding temperatures for less than four hours, without killing myself.

I think.

Don't try this at home.

Ahgggeh...

Go on.

You'll be fine.

Ahgggeh isn't a word in Australia or anything. That's just the sound I made.

I type it as I hear it. And I hear it as I say it.

I have no idea what I'm talking about.

So...

I brined two completely different looking cuts of pork that both claimed to be pork belly.

I added around a 1/2 cup of sea salt, and a half cup of brown(ish) sugar, to a squirt of honey, and some fresh ground black pepper. I also threw in three bay leaves, and I'm pretty sure there was something else as well.

It's late here.

And the people next door have had enough smoke for the day so I'm about to retrieve my smoked stuff.

It looks kind of pallid.

But it has an interesting scent, that might be a little promising.

Whatever happens, this will not be the kind of bacon-like substance that you might be able to put in your cellar for a few weeks. This will be the kind of thing I'll be freezing, then making sure I cook it.

A lot.

Before eating.

Which is fine by me, because I think bacon should be crunchy.

I also smoked some jalapeños in there.

I'm off to retrieve it all now.

I'll let you know if it kills me.